Date of This
Visit: 1st November 2014
St James park,
Newcastle
Newcastle United
1 (Perez)
Liverpool 0
Premier League
Attendance:
52,166 (3,200 ‘Liverbirds’)
"WHO'S BEEN
SLEEPING IN MY BED?"
John 'The
Undertaker's' funeral had been the day before and 'The Colonel' (he's
'the spit' of
deposed 'crackpot' Colonel Gadaffi!) waz stoppin' owerneet in The
Rowers Hotel in
Dunston to go the funeral and then the match against The
Liverbirds the
next day. (He lives in Bracknell in Berkshire)
We'd had quite a
few drinks in celebration of 'The Undertaker's' life and after
hiz funeral in
The Toon and after a canny few drinks in various hostelries, I
showed 'The
Colonel where the hotel waz on the Friday evenin' and he dropped hiz
owerneet bag off
in 'Room 1' on the 1st floor of the hotel.
Az he waz
droppin' hiz bag off aa asked the hotel
manager if he waz full that
neet! "We're fully booked", he said, "But some of our business guests have
been unavoidably
delayed and won't get here til the mornin'!" <(an important
point---reeed
on!)
We then went on
'the hoy' in Dunston takin' in The Royal Hotel bar and The Tudor
Rose bar where a
Halloween party waz takin' place with the locals dressed up az
ghouls, witches
and devils with horns stickin' oot of their heeds and there waz
even one idiot in
a gorilla suit!
"THERE'S A GHOST IN THE HOUSE!"
*** TUDOR ROSE
"Have yoo seen
them?" 'The Colonel' said, and I told him that this waz the
NORMAL dress
attire in Dunston!
Anyway!---aa
finally left him in a dishevelled and inebriated state 'late on'
and arranged to
meet him the next mornin' @ '10 bells' to gan to the match which
kicked off @
'12:45 bells'
"Yi'll nevaa
guess wot happened to me last night!?" he said when he torned
up---and aa had
visions of him tellin' me that he couldn't find hiz way back to
the hotel!
But a more
bizarre set off events had taken place!
He DID find the
hotel and went to hiz room (which he'd forgot to lock!?) and
'crashed oot'
"ZZZZZzzzzz!!!!!"
Next mornin' he
awoke and opened the curtains and he could see that he had a
view of the River
Tyne from hiz window!
He couldn't
understand why, az when he had went to hiz room the previous night
to drop hiz bag
off, he had a view of the road that leads to Dunston's futbaall
groond?
He decided he
needed a shave and went to get hiz owerneet bag which he'd left on
a chair beside
the bed---but it wasn't there!---he searched the room and even
looked under the
bed to see if it waz there---but it wasn't!???----(it waz
Halloween wasn't
it---spooky!) Someone must have sneaked in and 'nicked it'
while he waz
asleep, he thought and he went doon to reception to complain to the
manageress of the
hotel!
She went back
upstairs with him and like a scene from 'Goldilocks and the Three
Bears', she
discovered that in fact he'd went back to the WRANG ROOM when he'd
came back and had
slept in the WRANG BED!--hence the 'Tyne view' he had and 'ne
bag' in the room!
<(yi couldn't make it up!)
Obviously the
room he'd slept in WAZ for the (still un-arrived!) business people
the hotel manager
had told me aboot the neet before!
Imagine the
scenario if the delayed business people HAD arrived orly in the
mornin'???---A
Beautiful blonde bimbo businesswoman arrives exhausted and gans
to hor room!
She hoys hor 'kit
off' and dives into bed--anly to discover a 'Colonel Gadaffi'
lookalike snorin'
hiz heed off on the next pillow!
A 'Halloween
Horror Story' if ever there waz one!!!!
Anyway!---off we
set for The Toon and he got 'a load of merciless stick', aboot
it, aa can tell
yiz!
It waz then
'match time' and we heeded for wor seats.
The Toon started
off the better of the 2 sides and went close on a couple of
occasions. The
Liverbirds were not very good and couldn't muster a shot durin'
the 1st half and
they were lucky not to be behind at the interval when at least
one penalty
decision went against us!
THE TOON ATTACK THE LEAZES END (1st HALF)
The visitors were
a bit better in the 2nd period but The Toon stuck in and went
for 'the
jugular'.
The breakthrough
came in the 73rd minute when a Sissoko pass was blocked by
Mereno, but it
fell nicely for Perez and he whacked the baall into the net from
just inside the
box to put us one-nil up, to huge roars from the crowd!
It shud have been
two just eight minutes later when Cabella waz put through by
Sissoko and with
anly Mignonet to beat in The Liverbirds goal he shot by the
keeper managed to
push the baall around the post to deny him!
It 'mattered not'
though!---and we held on to record wor FOURTH win in a row and
move up to the
dizzy heights of 11th in the table!
ACTION @ THE GALLOWGATE END DURIN' THE
2nd HALF
After the match
me and 'The Colonel' heeded for 'The Bodega on Westgate Road
where he left hiz
owerneet bag under a table!
Sometime later he
looked for it, but (again!) it wasn't there? and had
mysteriously
moved by itself to an alcove above a door!----very spooky!
"HOW DID THAT GET UP THERE!???"
Toon team: Krul,
Janmaat, Coloccini, Steve Taylor, Dummett, Sissoko, Abeid,
Colback, Obertan
(Aarons 27), Cisse (Perez 46), Sammy Ameobi (Cabella 66)
Attendance:
52,166 (3,200 Liverbirds)
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